I love mornings like this — quiet, still, untouched. The snow laying its soft, safe blanket over the earth, the fire in the house flickering like a reminder of every way I’m blessed. I got up early to play catch-up with work because I’m so overwhelmed right now, but the moment I sat down, I remembered why this is my favorite time of day. The silence. The calm. The feeling that if God wanted to whisper something to me, I could actually hear it.
I hope that in the future, no matter how busy life gets, I can wake up a couple of hours before my kids and soak in this stillness. These hours feel like a gift I don’t want to lose. And having my two dogs cozied up next to me right now just adds to the comfort — the little joys that make everything feel manageable, even just for a moment.
Life has been such a whirlwind. I’ve been either out cleaning or glued to this computer nonstop. I prayed for work, and God delivered, and now I just hope I can keep up without disappointing Him or anyone else. I feel deadlines slipping through my fingers. It seems like something comes up every single day. Yesterday it was my volunteer day for Operation Christmas Child combined with Bible study, and that consumed so much of my time. Today I have couples therapy, then I’m helping Ingrid — one of my long-time clients — get her house ready for the holidays.
But after that, no more distractions. I have to get these projects done. No ifs, ands, or buts. This is a lot of money coming in, and I need a lot of money coming in. That part is simple.
Then there’s this whole mess with my dad’s mineral rights inheritance. The stress of it. The attorney. And then what? Do I end up managing the estate for Chad, Tina, and me? Is that really what’s happening? Part of me still doesn’t believe it. This could genuinely change my life — set me up in ways I’ve only dreamed about. But how do I manage my hopes when I was raised to let them slip away? When I was taught not to hold too tightly to good things because they tended to evaporate?
Maybe the only thing I can do is keep pretending like it isn’t real until it is.